If we can believe the newspapers, evening news, and talk shows, misery, poverty, violence, corruption, drugs, abuse, fear, and anger permeate our society. Politicians prefer partisan attack to problem solving; sexual predators are everywhere; religious intolerance has become rampant; the “haves” and the “have-nots” are at war with each other. And yet, in my little corner of the world in Fort Wayne, Indiana, I see mostly good people, acts of kindness, cooperation, helpfulness, friendship, and happiness. Am I just lucky?
Sure, there are difficult challenges that arise in every corner of the world, including mine. Stress appears to be a by-product of too many people sharing an imperfect society. I sometimes see fear expressed as anger when a golfer associates his self worth with his golf swing; I see road rage when a motorist has to wait to go around a bicyclist in traffic; I hear complaining when food or service is less than expected; and there are nasty disagreements in the world of politics.
Perhaps my favorite book was written by an Englishman, James Allen, more than a century ago when it was still politically correct to be titled “As a Man Thinketh”. His basic message is that “we are what we think”, and we have the ability to control our thought process. i.e. We can choose which thoughts are in our minds. Ultimately, our choice of thoughts will govern the nature and quality of our lives.
We all know people who have raised themselves up out of misery and poverty to lead happy, productive lives. We also know people who were given every privilege and opportunity, but ended up in lives of misery and unhappiness. Was it destiny? Luck? Or is it the thought process that creates the circumstances? James Allen (and I) believe it is the thought process that matters most.
I am approaching my 80th birthday, and 35 of those years were spent as an Indiana attorney in a world based on fear, power, and attack. I have had more than my share of opportunities to observe human nature, including my own. As I age, I am more and more aware of the choices I make in stressful situations. I work constantly to improve my “batting average” in choosing kind, peaceful, loving, non-judgmental thoughts while someone in my world is “losing it”. Gradually, I am learning that I can choose how to react. Rather than counter attack, I can model sane behavior, and I can also distance myself from the insanity. This allows me to remain peaceful and positive, no matter what is happening around me- most of the time.
